COMPUTER SONGS AND POEMS
=====<version 1.2e>=====
------16-May--1992------
(Song and poem parodies with computer related subjects)
collected & reformatted by Stefan Haenssgen <hanssgen@ira.uka.de>
The entries are formatted as follows, seperated by "@"s :
Title : The title of the parody
Original : The title of the original
Group : The one(s) who performed the original
Author : Author of the parody
Info : Additional Comments by the Author
Song : The Parody itself
I'd like to thank the following people for their contributions,
suggestions and error corrections (in alphabetical order)
Joerg Anslik <janslik@leibniz.gun.de>
Rob Beukers <rob@dutetvd.et.tudelft.nl>
Nelson Bishop <nelson@natinst.com>
Tony Duell <ard@siva.bris.ac.uk>
Jonathan Dursi <dursi@clavius.stmarys.ca>
Alan Cox <iiitac@pyramid.swansea.ac.uk>
Axel Eble <Axel.Eble@imbi.uni-freiburg.de>
Martin Emmerich <me@grmbl.uucp>
Uli Fraus <fraus@forwiss.uni-passau.de>
Charlie Gibbs <Charlie_Gibbs@mindlink.bc.ca>
Andreas Gustafsson <gson@spiderman.cs.hut.fi>
Thorbjoern Hansen <hansen@forwiss.uni-passau.de>
Jonathan E. Katz <jonathan@kanga.cad.ucla.edu>
Evan Kirshenbaum <evan@hplerk.hpl.hp.com>
Thomas Koenig <ib09@rz.uni-karlsruhe.de>
Rich Kulawiec <rsk@gynko.circ.upenn.edu>
Mark Lottor <mkl@nisc.sri.com>
Adrian Mariano <adrian@u.washington.edu>
Colin McCormack <colinm@extro.ucc.su.oz.au>
Dipesh Navsaria <navsaria@bu-pub.bu.edu>
Ove Ruben R Olsen <rubenro@viggo.blh.no>
Robert E. Seastroms <rs@ai.mit.edu>
George Sicherman <windmill.att.com!gls>
Boas Simon <boas@uni-paderborn.de>
Ignatios Souvatzis <souva@aibn53.mpifr-bonn.mpg.de>
Starship Trooper <greywolf@ossi.com>
Russell Street <russells@ccu1.aukuni.ac.nz>
The Unknown User <unknown@ucscb.ucsc.edu>
Martin Welk <mw@pandora.ruhr.sub.org>
Alan Winston <winston@ssrl01.slac.stanford.edu>
<snarler%maple.decnet@pine.circa.ufl.edu>
<dscatl!daysinns!alanf@gatech.edu>
This collection contains the following songs:
(changes to the previous version are marked "+" for additions and "/"
for edited songs)
0x0d2c
99 Buckets of Bits
A Better Model
A is for Apple
Addicted To Vi
The Alternative Wall
An Irish CPU
Another Glitch in the Call
Another One
A Time for DWIM
Automation
A Visit from Saint Woz
BBN Superlisp
Berkeley 4.3
Boot It
Both Ways, Now
The Boys of HP
+ Bye Bye, UNIX
+ CAMM (Crustified Ancient of Main Memory)
+ Can't parse this
The Computer Nevermore
Core dumped blues
CRASH! goes the System
CRAY-S's coolant
Cycles For Nothing
The Day Bell System Died
The DEC man cometh
DECman
The Disks of UNIX
Don't Call From Home
Don't Have a Conniption
Emacs Wizard
Every Cycle is Sacred
Fork()ing on a Sun
FORTRAN
French Horn Concerto (for modem users)
Friend of the System
Gateway To Heaven
Gateway To Net Ten
HACKADU
The Hacker Song
+ The Hacker's Song
/ The HACTRN
I Could Have Tooled All Night
I'm Typing Backwards for Christmas
I Want a New Bug
I am the very model of a Genius Computational
Into the Tube
JES The mighty system
Just remember that you're flying o'er a disk pack....
Lambda Bound
Leavin' Fed'ral Express
Little PC
Lonely Users
The Maven
My Favorite Hacks
Mr. Bossman
My Data are Over the Ocean
My Favourite Things
+ Network Pie
+ Not a Boolean
Ode to Amy (or: The Frontend Shuffle)
+ Our First Day on Usenet
P-I-F-FO
Please Release Me
PLIate's Dream
+ Poor Pure Percy P
/ The Programmer's Blues
The Programmer's Viewpoint
Puff the Fractal Dragon
Rawhide
Script for a Hacker's Tear
SIGHUP Blues
Software for Nothing
Socket Man
Song of the Certified Data Processor
The Sound of FORTRAN
The Sounds of Silence
Structured Programmer's Soliloquy
The Swapper
Take me Down to the SunLab
Tap My Wire
That was the HASP my friend
The 12 computerised days of Xmas
These are are a Few of Our Favorite Machines
Treekiller
The Underbull Badness Blues
UNIBUS
UNIX
Unix Man
+ Unix Quandry
Unix Wizard
VAX Raphosdy
Waiting for The Sun
The Wall 2
What is a Hacker?
When I was a lad
When you try to get work from the data network
The Worm before Christmas
Write in C
Yellow Subroutine
One final remark: I collect postcards, so if you like this file and think I deserve a
small favour, how about sending me a nice postcard? 8-) I'd appreciate it very much!
Really! My new address (moving moving moving...) is:
Stefan Haenssgen !!! NEW ADDRESS
Nuitsstr. 2c !!! NEW ADDRESS
W-7500 Karlsruhe 21 !!! NEW ADDRESS
Germany !!! NEW ADDRESS
PS: This file (and future updates) is also available via anonymous
FTP at iraun1.ira.uka.de (129.13.10.90) in /pub/doc/computersongs-1.2e.Z
PPS: (So much for "One final remark" ;-) Comments,
suggestions, further contributions and error corrections are always welcome!
...and here we go:
Title : 0x0d2c
Original : ?
Group : ?
Author : Bill Mitchell <mitchell@mdd.comm.mot.com>
Intro :
Song :
0x0d2c
May all your signals trap
May your references be bounded
All memory aligned
Floats to ints be rounded
Remember....
Nonzero is TRUE
++ adds one
Arrays start with [0]
NULL points to none
For octal use zero
0x means in hex
use = to set
and == for a test
Use -> for a pointer
a dot if it's not
?: is confusing
use this a lot
a.out is your program
there's no 'u' in foobar
and char (*(*x())[])() is
a function returning a pointer
to an array of pointers
to functions returning a char
Title : 99 Buckets of Bits
Original : 99 Bottles of Beer
Group : ?
Author : "Jonathan E. Katz" <jonathan@kanga.cad.ucla.edu>
Intro : (of course 90 buckets of bits then becomes 8f buckets of bits...)
buckets can also be replaced by bytes
Song :
99 buckets of bits on the bus,
99 buckets of bits.
take one down,
short it to ground.
98 buckets of bits on the bus..
Title : A Better Model
Original : A Modern Major-General
Group : Gilbert and Sullivan
Author : Steven Levine at Apollo Computer
Intro :
Song :
A Better Model
by Steven Levine at Apollo Computer
Submitted by "Spam"
Sung to the tune of "A Modern Major-General"
by Gilbert and Sullivan
I've built a better model than the one at Data General
For data bases vegetable, animal, and mineral
My OS handles CPUs with multiplexed duality;
My PL/1 compiler shows impressive functionality.
My storage system's better than magnetic core polarity,
You never have to bother checking out a bit for parity;
There isn't any reason to install non-static floor matting;
My disk drive has capacity for variable formatting.
Chorus: His disk drive has capacity for variable formatting,
His disk drive has capacity for variable formatting,
His disk drive has capacity for variable format-formatting.
I feel compelled to mention what I know to be a gloating point:
There's lots of room in memory for variables floating-point,
Which shows for input vegetable, animal, and mineral
I've built a better model than the one at Data General.
Cho: Which shows for input vegetable, animal, and mineral
He's built a better model than the one at Data General.
The IBM new home computer's nothing more than germinal;
At Prime they still have trouble with an interactive terminal;
While Tandy's done a lousy job with operations Boolean,
At Wang the byte capacity's too small to fit a coolie in.
Intel's mid-year finances are something of the trouble sort;
The Timex Sinclar crashes when you implement a bubble sort.
All DEC investors soon will find they haven't spent their money well;
And need I even mention Nixdorf, Univac, or Honeywell?
Cho: And need he even mention Nixdorf, Univac, or Honeywell?
And need he even mention Nixdorf, Univac, or Honeywell?
And need he even mention Nixdorf, Univac, or Honey-Honeywell?
By striving to eliminate all source code that's repetitive
I've brought my benchmark standings to results that are competitive.
In short, for input vegetable, animal, and mineral
I've built a better model than the one at Data General.
Cho: In short for input vegetable, animal, and mineral
He's built a better model than the one at Data General.
In fact when I've a floppy of a maximum diameter,
When I can call a subroutine of infinite parameter,
When I can point to registers and keep their current map around,
And when I can prevent the need for mystifying wraparound,
When I can update record blocks with minimum of suffering,
And when I can afford to use a hundred K for buffering,
When I've performed a matrix sort and tested the addition rate,
You'll marvel at the speed of my asynchronous transmission rate.
Cho: You'll marvel at the speed of his asynchronous transmission
rate,
You'll marvel at the speed of his asynchronous transmission rate,
You'll marvel at the speed of his asynchronous transmission-mission rate.
Though all my better programs that self-reference recursively
Have only been obtained through expert spying, done subversively,
But still for input vegetable, animal, and mineral,
I've built a better model than the one at Data General.
Cho: But still for input vegetable, animal, and mineral,
He's built a better model than the one at Data General.
Title : A is for Apple
Original : A is for Apple
Group : Traditional
Author : Douglas Spencer
Intro :
Song :
A is for Apple
by Douglas Spencer
Computer Systems Administrator, Anderman and Co Ltd
A is for APPLE who sent us our Macs,
D is for DEC, and they sold us a Vax.
C is the language in which we write source,
and B is our sort, which is BROKEN, of course.
E is an ERROR when code is compiled,
F is a FORK for creating a child,
G is the GETTY that sits on the line,
and H is a HANGUP whic:^?{^Zo^?{bD^]NO CARRIER
I is the INTERCONNECTION of kit,
J is the JOY when the cables all fit.
K is for KERMIT, to copy a file,
and L are the LINES that we drop all the while.
M is the MODEM we use from our home,
N are the NIGHTS which we spend on the 'phone,
O is the OUTPUT we get from the host,
and P are the 'PHONE BILLS we get in the post.
Q for SIGQUIT makes our process abort,
R is the REASON sigquit should be caught.
S is the SIGNAL we catch and ignore,
and T is the TRAP which we miss, and dump core.
U is for UNIX -- I hope that is clear,
V is the VISUAL editor here.
W stands for the WINDOWS we use,
and X for the windowing system we choose.
Y is for YACC, quite a specialist tool,
Z for the snores from the programming pool.
Written while waiting while dinner was cooking
submitted by chiyo to funny@looking.
Title : Addicted To Vi
Original : Addicted To Love
Group : Robert Palmer
Author : Chuck Musciano <chuck@trantor.harris-atd.com>
Intro : After thinking about that poor wretch who has become addicted to vi,
I was inspired to compose the following ditty, sung to the tune of
"Addicted To Love" by Robert Palmer.
As you sing this, it may help the effect to imagine a dozen women,
all of whom resemble Bill Joy, dressed in black and dancing
sinuously.
Song :
Addicted To Vi
(with apologies to Robert Palmer)
You press the keys with no effect,
Your mode is not correct.
The screen blurs, your fingers shake;
You forgot to press escape.
Can't insert, can't delete,
Cursor keys won't repeat.
You try to quit, but can't leave,
An extra "bang" is all you need.
You think it's neat to type an "a" or an "i"--
Oh yeah?
You won't look at emacs, no you'd just rather die
You know you're gonna have to face it;
You're addicted to vi!
You edit files one at a time;
That doesn't seem too out of line?
You don't think of keys to bind--
A meta key would blow your mind.
H, J, K, L? You're not annoyed?
Expressions must be a Joy!
Just press "f", or is it "t"?
Maybe "n", or just "g"?
Oh--You think it's neat to type an "a" or an
"i"--
Oh yeah?
You won't look at emacs, no you'd just rather die
You know you're gonna have to face it;
You're addicted to vi!
Might as well face it,
You're addicted to vi!
You press the keys without effect,
Your life is now a wreck.
What a waste! Such a shame!
And all you have is vi to blame.
Oh--You think it's neat to type an "a" or an
"i"--
Oh yeah?
You won't look at emacs, no you'd just rather die
You know you're gonna have to face it;
You're addicted to vi!
Might as well face it,
You're addicted to vi!
Title : The Alternative Wall
Original : The Wall
Group : Pink Floyd
Author : Alan Cox <iiitac@pyramid.swansea.ac.uk>, Leon Thrane,
Jim Finnis, Alec Muffet <aem@aber.ac.uk> & (?)
Intro : Here's a set of pseudosongs which is the result of several long
drunken nights talking on a bulletin board between London &
Aberystwyth (220+ miles apart)... circa 1988.
Song :
The Alternative Wall:-
Established by:- Anarchy, Atropos, White,
Roadrunner>>>++>>, & Giant Hogweed.
Nobody On
I got keyboard corns on my fingers,
I got a Ethernet Pad for a brain,
I got a VDU to prop up my mortal remains.
My programs always fail,
I got a strong urge to MAIL
But I got no-one to MAIL to,
MAIL to,
MAIL to..
Oh, babe, when I send down the phone,
There's still nobody on...
The Alternative Wall, Part Two.
Does anybody here remember DEC?
Remember how the manual
Was useless to me
In every way.
UNIX, what has become of you?
Can any other O/S be quite as slow as you...
The Alternative Wall, Part Three.
The Trial
Good Morning, ROOT, your honour,
The dump will plainly show the user who now stands before you
Was caught red-handed in the system
Crudely hacking in a truly vicious nature
This will not do!
CALL THE LOGFILE!
"I always said he'd come to no good didn't I, ROOT, your
honour,
If they let me have my way I'd have him banned from the VAX!
But my hands were tied,
The bleeding hearts and artists
Not to mention the Dave Prices
Wouldn't let me throw him off!"
-- Dedicated to Atropos The Wanderer.
The Alternative Wall, Part Four.
The UNIX Login Software
Is there anybody out there?
(repeat ad nauseam)
The Alternative Wall, Part Five.
One of My Hacks
Log onto the system
On that lurid green screen
You'll find there's no response!
Don't look so frightened,
this is just a passing crash,
One of my bad hacks!
Would you like to watch TV,
Well, that's no use to me
I want to watch you squirm
As you try to get logged on!
Do you want to call the OPS,
Do you think it's time I stopped?
Why are you running away?
The Alternative Wall, Part Six.
Filled Up Spaces / What Shall We Do Now?
What shall we use to trash
The filled up spaces on the archive tape?
How should I hack and leave no traces,
How shall the system completely fall?
The Alternative Wall, Part Seven.
Uncomfortably Numb
Hello, is there anybody on here?
I'm here but can you see me?
Is there anyone at home?
C'mon now, I hear that MIST is down,
I can ease the pain, maybe bring it up again.
Relax, I need some information first,
Just the basic facts, have you hacked the system Snurt?
There is no shell, your call is clearing,
The distant chips smoke on the breadboard,
You are only coming through off pads,
Your fingers move but I can't see what you're typing.
When I was a child I caught a virus,
My filebase swelled just like two balloons
Now I've got that feeling once again,
I can't explai(core dumped), you would not understand,
This is not how I am.
I have become uncomfortably numb.
The Alternative Wall, Part Eight.
In a Flash
So ya
Thought ya
Might like to
Go to the show
To feel the thrill of board hacking,
That luminescent glow.
I've got some bad news for you, sunshine
OPS not around, 'cos Node 5 is down,
And they sent us along, they've gone to the bar,
And we're going to find out who you guys
Really are.
Have we got any oppos on the system tonight?
Grep 'em up against the wall.
There's one on Bullet,
He don't look right to me,
Grep him up agaist the wall.
That one's called Badger,
And that one's Tyrone,
Who let all this riffraff on their own;
There's one smoking a joint and
Another with sandals?
If I had my way
I'd have all of you shot.
Title : An Irish CPU
Original : An Irish Ballad
Group : Tom Lehrer
Author : Sarah Elizabeth Miller
Intro :
Song :
AN IRISH CPU
(to An Irish Ballad by Tom Lehrer)
by Sarah Elizabeth Miller
About a CPU I sing,
Sing rickity, tickity, tin.
About a CPU I sing
Who sat around compi-a-ling
And wouldn't do another thing
For anyone else logged in, logged in,
For anyone else logged in.
Old programs it would just ignore,
Sing rickity, tickity, tin.
Old programs it would just ignore
And leave them rotting in the core,
Not caring what they all were for
Except those in "user/bin", "user/bin",
Except those in "user/bin".
This CPU was lots of fun,
Sing rickity, tickity, tin.
This CPU was lots of fun
Until one wanted programs run
And if one tried to get them done
It typed back "You're not logged in, logged in."
It typed back "You're not logged in."
Long processes it would not do,
Sing rickity, tickity, tin.
Long processes it would not do
And, rather than to run them through,
Would ask to have some Irish stew
And a couple of cases of gin, of gin,
And a couple of cases of gin.
And then it would raise hellish toasts,
Sing rickity, tickity, tin.
And then it would raise hellish toasts
And make a few obnoxious boasts,
Not only could it drink the most,
It knew many more ways to sin, to sin.
It knew many more ways to sin.
To prove its point to all the world,
Sing rickity, tickity, tin.
To prove its point to all the world
It let the magtape fall in curls
And wrap around some foxy girl
And slowly rewind her in, her in,
And slowly rewind her in.
This sordid tale I won't prolong,
Sing rickity, tickity, tin.
This sordid tale I won't prolong
And, if you do not enjoy my song,
You've got Abe to blame if it's too long.
He should never have let me begin, begin.
He should never have let me begin.
Title : Another Glitch in the Call
Original : Another Brick in the Wall
Group : Pink Floyd
Author : Knappy 8350428 @ UWAVM
Intro :
Song :
Another Glitch in the Call
(Sung to the tune of a similar Pink Floyd song.)
(Contributed By Knappy 8350428 @ UWAVM)
We don't need no indirection
We don't need no flow control
No data typing or declarations
Hey! You! Leave those lists alone!
Chorus:
All in all, it's just a pure-LISP function call.
We don't need no side effect-ing
We don't need no scope control
No global variables for execution
Hey! You! Leave those args alone!
(Chorus)
We don't need no allocation
We don't need no special nodes
No dark bit-flipping in the functions
Hey! You! Leave those bits alone!
(Chorus)
We don't need no compilation
We don't need no load control
No link edit for external bindings
Hey! You! Leave that source alone!
(Chorus, and repeat)
Title : Another One
Original : ?
Group : ?
Author : ?
Intro : Not quite the usual parody, but nice for all UNIX fans among us :-)
Song :
better !pout !cry
better watchout
lpr why
santa claus <north pole >town
cat /etc/passwd >list
ncheck list
ncheck list
cat list | grep naughty >nogiftlist
cat list | grep nice >giftlist
santa claus <north pole > town
who | grep sleeping
who | grep awake
who | egrep 'bad|good'
for (goodness sake) {
be good
}
better !pout !cry
better watchout
lpr why
santa claus <north pole >town
cat /etc/passwd >list
ncheck list
ncheck list
cat list | grep naughty >nogiftlist
cat list | grep nice >giftlist
santa claus <north pole > town
who | grep sleeping
who | grep awake
who | grep bad || good
for (goodness sake) { be good; }
Title : A Time for DWIM
Original : A Time for Us
Group : theme song from Romeo and Juliet
Author : Guy L. Steele Jr.
Intro :
Song :
A Time for DWIM
[to be sung to the tune of
A Time for Us
(theme song from Romeo and Juliet)]
A time for DWIM
There'll never be;
No clever code
This losing mode
Can UNDO for me.
This "golden hope"
(To be denied)
Could never
Correctly fix the bugs my programs hide.
A way for bugs
There'll never be
To fix with generality.
So to this DWIM
Let's say farewell;
The crocks therein
Prove it can't win
And ring its knell:
Do What I Mean
Is just a ruse --
It really
Means only: Fix How Teitelman doth Lose!
-- The Great Quux
(with apologies to
Rota, Kusik, and Snyder)
Title : Automation
Original : Fascination
Group : Jane Morgan (???)
Author : Alan Sherman (singer), transcribed by Russell Street
(russells@ccu1.aukuni.ac.nz)
Info : The music Sherman used had be re-arranged from the
"original" of the song I have.
Song :
It was automation, I know,
That was what was making the factory go.
It was IBM, it was UNIVAC,
It was all those gears going clickerty-clack, dear
I thought automation was keen,
'Till you were replaced by a ten tonne machine.
It was that computer that tore us apart, dear
Automation broke my heart.
There's an RCA 503
Standing next to me, dear, where you used to be.
Doesn't have your smile, doesn't have your shape.
Just a lot a bunch of punch cards and light bulbs and tape, dear.
Your a girl whose soft, warm and sweet.
But your only human and that's obselete.
Though I'm very fond of that new 503, dear.
Automation's not for me.
"It was automation", I'm told
That's why I got fired and I'm out in the cold
How could I have known, when the 503,
Started into blink, it was winking at me, dear.
I thought it was just some mishap.
When it sidled over and sat on my lap
But when it said "I love you" and gave me a hug, dear
That's when I pulled out it's plug
Title : A Visit from Saint Woz
Original : The Night Before Christmas (A Visit from St. Nick?)
Group : ?
Author : Marty Knight
Intro :
Song :
A VISIT FROM SAINT WOZ
by Marty Knight
'Twas the night before Christmas, no sound in the house.
My GS is dusty and so is my mouse.
My dealer's gone Mac; he's too brainwashed to care.
Apple marketing smells like that old dairy-air.
My children are nestled, all snug in their beds,
while visions of Mac LCs (ugh) dance in their heads.
The GS is dead, I've heard them all say.
They might just be right; things look pretty gray.
When all of a sudden a great noise I did hear.
I woke with a start and fell flat on my rear.
Awakened from slumber I jumped up to see
tripped over the cat and twisted my knee.
The moon brightly shone on the new fallen snow.
I looked but saw nothing, then turning to go,
stopped short... What's that?... Is that synthLAB I hear?
Why yes! Yes it is! That's good reason to cheer!
I jumped and I shouted and I danced then because
I knew right away that it must be Saint Woz.
More rapid than Zip Chip, old Wozniak came.
He whistled and shouted and called out by name:
"Now Quickie! Now Allison! Now AppleWorks GS!
Go Claris! On SuperConvert! I love you Vitesse!
Platinum Paint is so cool! Twilight Screen Blanker rules!
Who needs those old Macs when you've got Apple IIs?
"If you have been true I've got presents to dole,
but if you're like inCider you'll get lumps of coal."
So up to the housetop with the Green Team he flew;
Jim Merritt, Andy Nicholas, and Saint Wozniak, too.
I kept very quiet so that I might hear
SoundSmith tunes softly playing, spreading Apple II cheer.
Then I heard a slight scrape and as I turned 'round
down the chimney Saint Wozniak came with a bound.
He wore blue jeans and sneakers and a T-shirt that said
II-Infinitum ... II-Forever... I had nothing to dread!
A sack of great software he had slung on his back
and he looked like a hacker there searching his pack.
His eyes twinkled brightly, his dimples so merry,
his cheeks red as apples, his nose like a cherry.
His droll little mouth smiled a smile oh so grand.
And a full bearded chin, GDL labels in hand.
A thick slice of pizza he held tight in his teeth
and the steam from it circled his head like a wreath.
A plump little face and a round little belly.
He laughed and it shook like a bowl of grape jelly.
He was chubby and plump; a right jolly old elf.
I laughed when I saw him, for he looked like myself.
He winked right at me then he twisted his head,
so I knew deep inside I had nothing to dread.
He said not a word. He went straight to work
programming in ORCA, then he turned with a jerk.
Then placing his finger on top of that mess,
and giving a nod... GAMES for the GS!
He jumped to his sleigh and it rose from the ground.
But before it took off I saw him turn 'round
and I heard him exclaim, 'ere he flew out of sight,
"Apple II Forever, and to all a good night!"
Copyright 1990 by Marty Knight
Title : BBN Superlisp
Original : Jesus Christ Superstar
Group : from Jesus Christ Superstar
Author : Guy L. Steele Jr.
Intro :
Song :
BBN Superlisp
[to be sung to the tune of
Jesus Christ Superstar]
Every time I look at you I don't understand
Why you think "Do What I Mean" is so cool and grand;
You'd have managed better if you'd thought it through,
Why'd you pick such an awkward way your bugs to undo?
Your hairy feature will not be the last revolution,
It's clear "Mean What I Do" is the ultimate solution!
Don't you get me wrong,
Don't you get me wrong,
Don't you get me wrong, now,
Don't you get me wrong,
I only want to hack,
I only want to hack,
I only want to hack,
I only want to hack.
BBN! BBN! Some people think you're the living end!
BBN! BBN! Some people think you're the living end!
BBN! SuperLISP! Can "Do What I Mean" measure up to this?
BBN! SuperLISP! Can "Do What I Mean" measure up to this?
Tell us what you think about your friends at the top,
Who d'you think besides yourself's the pick of the crop?
Is LISP 1.5 where it's at? Is it where you are?
Does Stanford's LISP have features too or is that just PR?
Do you have the breakpoint scheme that MACLISP is known for,
Or is that just the kind of kludge the user's on his own for?
Don't you get me wrong,
Don't you get me wrong,
Don't you get me wrong, now,
Don't you get me wrong,
I only want to hack,
I only want to hack,
I only want to hack,
I only want to hack.
BBN! BBN! Some people think you're the living end!
BBN! BBN! Some people think you're the living end!
BBN! SuperLISP! Can "Do What I Mean" measure up to this?
BBN! SuperLISP! Can "Do What I Mean" measure up to this?
-- The Great Quux
(with apologies to
Rice and Webber)
Title : Berkeley 4.3
Original : Yellow Submarine
Group : Beatles
Author : Jim Finnis
Intro : [fragment]
Song :
In the RAM
where I was forked,
lived a ROM,
who sailed the C...
And he told,
me of his life,
in the Berkeley,
4.3...
We all live in the Berkeley 4.3,
Berkeley 4.3, Berkeley 4.3.
We all live in the Berkeley 4.3,
Berkeley 4.3, Berkeley 4.3.
((c) White the Wizard productions Ltd, 1987)
Title : Boot It
Original : Beat it
Group : Michael Jackson
Author : ?
Intro :
Song :
Boot It
You're processing some words when your keyboard goes dead,
Ten pages in the buffer, should have gone to bed,
The system just crashed, but don't lose your head,
Just BOOT IT, just BOOT IT.
Better think fast, better do what you can,
Read the manual or call your system man,
Don't want to fall behind in the race with Japan,
So BOOT IT,
Get the system manager to BOOT IT, BOOT IT,
Even though you'd rather shoot it.
Don't be upset, it's only some glitch.
All that you do is flip a little switch.
BOOT IT, BOOT IT,
Get right down and restitute it.
Don't get excited, all is not lost.
CP/M, UNIX or MS/DOS Just BOOT IT, boot it, boot it, boot it...
You gotta have your printout for the meeting at two,
The system says your jobs at the head of the queue,
Right then the thing dies but you know what to do, BOOT IT.
You always get so worried when the system runs slow,
And when it finally crashes,
man you feel so low,
But computers make mistakes (they're only human you know)
So BOOT IT, Call the local guru to BOOT IT, BOOT IT,
Go ahead re-institute it.
If you're not lucky,
get the book off the shelf,
But if you are, it'll do itself.
BOOT IT, BOOT IT,
Then go find the guy who screwed it!
Operating systems are built to bounce back,
Whether it's a Cray or a Radio Shack.
BOOT IT, BOOT IT
Title : Both Ways, Now
Original : Both Sides, Now
Group : Joni Mitchell
Author : Guy L. Steele Jr.
Intro :
Song :
Both Ways, Now
[to be sung to the tune of
Both Sides, Now]
Decimal digits in a row,
Just set the dials and let 'er go.
The ENIAC was grossly slow --
I used to code that way,
But then this Fortran came along;
I danced and sang a happy song:
So natural -- what could go wrong?
I little knew, that day!
I've looked at Fortran both ways, now,
At II and IV, and still somehow,
It's rows of numbers I recall;
I really don't know Fortran at all.
Fortran IV is real good stuff,
But business hackers have it tough;
For them this Fortran's not enough --
Then Cobol saved the day!
But now I sing a sad refrain;
This Cobol loss is no one's gain,
And writing programs is a pain
(I get writer's cramp that way!)
I've looked at Cobol both ways, now,
I code in it, and still somehow,
It's FORMAT statements I recall;
I really don't know Cobol at all. |
